How many times have you heard new mothers say, “my baby is sleeping through the night” What does this actually mean, for some it may mean the baby sleeps from 11pm till 6 am, for others this may not be what they think sleeping through the night is. We as parents constantly compare our child’s sleep to other children’s sleep pattern, chasing their dreams, thinking what they are doing really works and what we are doing is wrong. Sometimes, feelings start building we are not good mothers.
New parents need realistic expectations about sleep for their new-born’s. I breastfed my children and I can assure you they did not sleep eight hours I suppose I did not see this as problematic or disturbing the baby needed a feed. Mind you, one child did not sleep the night till he was three years old. One recent study of 44 children found that half of the children never slept more than 8 hours consecutively <www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2020/12/201202114458.htm>.
Another study by Finnish institute of health https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2020/02/200205132259.htm identified that 40% of parents expressed concerns about their babies sleep at 8 months of age They identified that sleep problems were common and yes they normally improve at two year of age. They concluded in the study of provided by parents of 5,700 children that there are largely individual differences around patterns of falling asleep, waking up, staying awake at night and sleep rhythms. Babies all develop different rates of sleep patterns, but all fall within normal boundaries just like some babies walk at 10 months some might not till 14 months. Babies are developing rapidly especially in that first year, so what might work at one month in their life may not work at six months. Many mothers use the word sleep regression to be honest I think we could use a more positive word. It is implying the baby is going backwards when instead their brain, nervous system and skeletal system is making rapid progress. Some babies like adults are not great sleepers it is important not to blame yourself as parents we need to let go of perfection. Applying healthy sleep hygiene from birth takes time to develop in babies as they have to develop their circadian rhythm. The research above identified: the time taken to fall asleep reduces to an average of 20 minutes by the age of 6 months Often parents find no one method works it is a combination of things, be aware of physiological causes ,silent reflux, anaemia, obstructive breathing sensitive temperament and allergies.
In the first month baby sleeps 16 hours they may have 3-4 hourly naps. After being awake for more than two hours they need sleep.
From four months on they may become more predictable they may have two to three naps.
From around nine months the third nap fades away your baby may sleep 10/12 hours it is best not to let baby sleep late in the evening as it may interfere with the night nap.
Set the mood Dark quiet environment before sleep. I always had a song or book for my children that they associated with bedtime. Some mothers use a soother . By following a routine your child will know what to expect and feel secure and loved Remember follow your babies lead.https://static1.squarespace.com/static/5666b428dc5cb462d9f1e05a/t/5905be69725e256add1604d2/1493548654959/Early+Human+development+2017.pdf
Observe your baby for early sleep cues they may rub their eye or appear quiet. Place the baby in the cot awake but drowsy from 6 months (guide only) this may vary if breastfeeding
Be consistent, but flexible New born may need to be wrapped to feel soothed always comfort and cuddle a crying baby.
Some newborns may need to be tapped or patted to a rhythmic movement
Be safe back to sleep /co sleeping https://www2.hse.ie/wellbeing/child-health/cot-death/where-your-baby-should-sleep.html#:~:text=The%20safest%20place%20for%20your,least%20the%20first%206%20months.
Be gentle calm avoid conversation
Avoid phones and TV blue light
Remove soft toys always and reduce reliant on musical mobiles from 6 months
Babies are smart and can sense intuitively that mum is tired and yes some are intense and have a sensitive temperament and may have a low sensory threshold - around sound light textures. These babies can be hard to manage as they resist sleep more strongly and sleep less overall.
Don’t do it alone ask your partner or family for help. Lack of sleep for mothers affect our mood, cognition, our bodies, stress hormones, cortisol levels and appetite.