"My baby is sleeping the night"

How many times have you heard new mothers say, “my baby is sleeping through the night” What does this actually mean, for some it may mean the baby sleeps from 11pm till 6 am, for others this may not be what they think sleeping through the night is. We as parents constantly compare our child’s sleep to other children’s sleep pattern, chasing their dreams, thinking what they are doing really works and what we are doing is wrong. Sometimes, feelings start building we are not good mothers.

New parents need realistic expectations about sleep for their new-born’s. I breastfed my children and I can assure you they did not sleep eight hours I suppose I did not see this as problematic or disturbing the baby needed a feed. Mind you, one child did not sleep the night till he was three years old. One recent study of 44 children found that half of the children never slept more than 8 hours consecutively <www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2020/12/201202114458.htm>.

Another study by Finnish institute of health https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2020/02/200205132259.htm identified that 40% of parents expressed concerns about their babies sleep at 8 months of age They identified that sleep problems were common and yes they normally improve at two year of age. They concluded in the study of provided by parents of 5,700 children  that there are largely individual differences  around  patterns of falling asleep, waking up, staying awake at night  and sleep rhythms.  Babies all develop different rates of sleep patterns, but all fall within normal boundaries just like some babies walk at 10 months some might not till 14 months.   Babies are developing rapidly especially in that first year, so what might work at one month in their life  may not work at six months. Many mothers use the word sleep regression to be honest I think we could use a more positive word. It is implying the baby is going backwards when instead their brain, nervous system  and skeletal system is making rapid progress. Some babies like adults are not great sleepers it is important not to blame yourself as parents we need to let go of perfection. Applying healthy sleep hygiene from birth takes time to develop in babies as they have to develop their circadian rhythm. The research above identified: the time taken to fall asleep reduces to an average of 20 minutes by the age of 6 months Often parents find no one method works it is a combination of things, be aware of physiological causes ,silent reflux, anaemia, obstructive breathing sensitive temperament and allergies.

 In the first month baby sleeps 16 hours they may have 3-4 hourly naps. After being awake for more than two hours they need sleep.

From four months on they may become more predictable  they may have two to three naps.

From around nine months the third nap fades away your baby may sleep 10/12 hours   it is best not to let baby sleep late in the evening as it may interfere with the night nap.

Set the mood Dark quiet environment before sleep.   I always had a song or book for my children that they associated with bedtime. Some mothers use a soother . By following a routine your child will know what to expect and feel secure and loved Remember follow your babies lead.https://static1.squarespace.com/static/5666b428dc5cb462d9f1e05a/t/5905be69725e256add1604d2/1493548654959/Early+Human+development+2017.pdf

Observe your baby for early sleep cues they may rub their eye or appear quiet. Place the baby in the cot awake but drowsy from 6 months (guide only) this may vary if breastfeeding

Be consistent,  but flexible New born may need to be wrapped to feel soothed always comfort and cuddle a crying baby.

Some newborns may need to be tapped or patted to a rhythmic movement  

Be safe back to sleep   /co sleeping https://www2.hse.ie/wellbeing/child-health/cot-death/where-your-baby-should-sleep.html#:~:text=The%20safest%20place%20for%20your,least%20the%20first%206%20months.

Be gentle calm avoid conversation

Avoid phones and TV blue light

Remove soft toys always and reduce reliant on musical mobiles from 6 months

Babies are smart and can sense intuitively that mum is tired and yes some are intense and have a sensitive temperament and may have a low sensory threshold - around sound light textures. These babies can be hard to manage as they resist sleep more strongly and sleep less overall.

Don’t do it alone ask your partner or family for help. Lack of sleep for mothers affect our mood, cognition, our bodies, stress hormones, cortisol levels and appetite.

Making a positive transition to motherhood with emotional support though Networking mothers !

The Birth of any newborn baby is a time of transition for a woman and her family. Adjustments need to be made physically, socially and psychologically. Tiredness and fatigue is a major physical factor which new mothers are often not prepared for. Indeed, my research identified tiredness as the most common factor in becoming a new mother. This stress and fatigue is often due to a range of learning skills which a woman experiences with a newborn in addition to maternal changes in her body. Studies have linked this learning of motherhood to a loss of self-esteem, leading to isolation as women are exhausted and confused. Researchers identified six categories in the transition of becoming a mother “realizing, readiness, drained aloneness, loss and working it out. Our ante-natal class focuses on preparing new mums to be for this journey.

Becoming a mother is characterized by profound change, a journey of emotion, so if the reality of motherhood is different from what is expected the mothers self-esteem can be severely affected. If we push aside normal emotions and embrace false positive emotions we will lose the capacity to develop skills as parents. Although the birth of a new baby might be expected to be a joyous occasion the impact of the transition even more so with COVID-19 can leave a woman with no supports to discuss real life stresses that her new arrival can bring. To minimize the negative impact of this transition on your inner world we encourage you to “step out” recognize emotions have a place but do not define you. Let us create the friendship and connection you deserve through our virtual mum networks. Our networks with new mothers and babies gives you a safe, supported, knowledgable transition to sustain you and your baby on your journey into motherhood.

““ ....The Crazy thing is (that) everyone I speak to seems to feel it (the transition) yet no one feels like they can talk about it. Its like when I see someone pushing a Pram down the road, I feel... Like shouting, hi I am Amy do you want to come in for coffee” but I’d seem like a mad woman, ( yet ) if someone did it to me I would have been delighted ‘. ”

Lots of discussion around teething today in our groups!

We discussed teething today and there is a lot of products out there to help sooth and comfort your baby. The price can also vary which can leave parents very confused and in a panic to purchase lots of different products. Breastfeeding, provides a natural pain relief for your baby, and it is very empowering when you can sooth your baby by breastfeeding. There is no one product that stands out, in my experience as a mum and Public Health Nurse/Midwife our role is to self sooth and comfort the baby. This can be distressing for parents when the products are not as effective as we would like. Some babies today in our virtual networks were at the chewing stage. One Mum found the nubby glove very effective for this stage. In My own experience I found a soft small pliable animal (horse or cow) great as it gave my baby independence to grip and pull on when self soothing

As the teething progresses your baby may dribble more, increasing the risk of a sore neck in between the neck creases. Applying a barrier cream and dabbing the skin with olive oil and water wearing a good bib will help protect the skin. As the teeth break through newborns may also develop red flushed checks and their bottoms may break out causing a nappy rash. Remember this is not your fault some babies are more sensitive to this problem. I have one blue-eyed and three brown eyed children you need not guess which one developed the sore bum! Keep the bum clean, expose to fresh air, use a good barrier cream, if your baby develops a very high temperature, a rash, vomiting or Diarrhoea these are not significantly associated with teething and most likely will be other reasons speak to your General Practitioner or Public Health Nurse. In my own experience I have found the later the teeth emerged, the more distressing it is ! There is no evidence on this, however, it is accepted that the symptoms and pain can vary between individuals. New Mums understand this in the virtual groups as the babies are going through the stages of development together.

The general pattern for teeth is they break out the two lower case incisors first at 6 months followed by the upper central incisors at 8 months. Nelsons granules are soothing and calming you should never give orally if the baby is crying. Babies love their gums massaged use a soft face cloth or apply a sugar-free teething gel which may numb any pain. Cold water or sucking and gnawing on a cool spoon can also help. Some mums find their babies get fussy on the breast or bottle when teething and placing the teat of the bottle in the fridge may help. If you use teething rings avoid putting them into freezer as they can cause a friction burn Always check with your pharmacist or GP regarding Calpol and Ibuprofen or if your baby has a temperature above 38 degrees vomiting, diarrhoea or rash. Never place any objects around your babies neck for fear of choking there is no evidence that amber bracelets offer pain relief I would imagine they are quite uncomfortable to lie on. Be mindful of what you purchase it may be marketed as teething relief but doesn’t always mean it is safe!https://adc.bmj.com/content/83/3/210

“Teething may start at 13 weeks, the teeth may not erupt until six months or later. Your babies gums may start to change becoming flat and less curved in appearance. Your child should have most of their 20 baby teeth by the time they are two and half years.”